Liar!
by Mysteriouslyabsent
Summary: Yuffie's been kidnapped by the Shinra company, and she's not too keen on her company. Scheming afoot. Secret Santa giftfic for the wonderful Pen Against Sword; slightly edited compared the the version that went up on the Genesis Awards forums.
1. Chapter 1

_(A/N: This was my Genesis Awards Secret Santa giftfic for the fantabulous Pen Against Sword. Check out her fanfiction profile, and check out the Genesis Awards while you're at it!)_

**__Liar!**

Chapter 1

"Miss Kisaragi, those handcuffs are made of mithril. If you continue to struggle, you'll do yourself an injury, and we don't want that, now, do we?"

Yuffie responded by spitting in President Rufus' patronising face- if a face could be patronising. Erm.

Rufus sighed, pulled a white handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his cheek. "I'll return later, then, when you're feeling more agreeable. Or when your team-mates turn up to collect you. They're taking their time." He paused. "Though I must say, I can't blame them."

He vanished from the room, the bolt sliding shut behind him. Yuffie started to regret spitting; her throat was getting dry after refusing food and water for nearly a whole day. Well, twelve hours. Eight. Whatever, her throat was dry and she'd just wasted a glob of spit on that creep of a man and that glob of spit was looking more and more beautiful with every passing second.

Groaning, Yuffie looked around the room for some means of escape. For blank walls looked back, mocking her. No windows- gawd, if Shinra were going to kidnap her and lock her up, couldn't they at least give her a decent view? The building was like fifty gazillion floors high; if they didn't want her jumping out they _could _have just plonked her in a room at the top. But no. Here she was, trapped in a space roughly the size of a matchbox, and it was similarly well-lit. Every so often, Yuffie would catch a whiff of a sickly, banana-y odor, but she couldn't locate the source. This drove her up the wall. The blank wall with no windows. Bah.

Maybe they'd put her in there because they knew she was a great ninja, _the _White Rose of Wutai. Maybe they thought that even on the highest floor, she had the skill to hop down as gracefully as a Tail Vault hopping from an unattended cooking pot. Maybe.

Or maybe they knew that that lot was all nonsense, and that she was only allowed to call herself a 'ninja' because all the other ninjas of Wutai were long-dead and couldn't put her to shame, except in the storybooks, but then storybooks with Wutaian heroes were hard to come by these days; "The Scintillating Stories of Simon Shinra" were now standard stock. Yuffie sighed and curled up in a ball for warmth. The team would come back for her eventually. They had to. She still had their materia.

Well, _Shinra _had it now, but AVALANCHE'd need a ninja with them if they wanted it back; she still had her ribbon tucked into her bandanna and her lockpicks hidden in her socks.

Everything had gone smoothly until Don Corneo had shown up and kidnapped her. She'd been helpless; sure, she had armfuls of materia, but that meant that she couldn't throw her shuriken, and the trouble with stealing magical weaponry that didn't exist in your hometown was that you didn't know how to use it when you eventually got the chance. So yup, she'd been helpless as he'd tied her and that yappy Turk chick up on Da Chao, and then the Turks had arrived, and Yuffie had thought that everything was gonna work out okay after all, even if she _did_ have to hand the materia over (for the time being, at least). She'd breathed a sigh of relief.

And _then _the Turks had realised that she was holding AVALANCHE's entire materia stock, while lacking the ability to use it. Sure, they were off duty, but they knew a great opportunity for preventative measures when they saw it. She didn't remember much after Reno's eyes narrowed and his lip curled in a smirk, but when she awoke she was locked in this midgy room with its banana-y smell and bare walls and fugly carpet, and President Rufus Shinra stood by the door trying not to laugh.

That same door now creaked open; Yuffie glared at the guard who walked in. He carried a tray of food and drink. She hoped that if she scowled hard enough, she could distract herself from her rumbling stomach and itchy throat.

The scent of roast chocobo drifted across the room; Yuffie bit her lip. _So _yummy...

"Er, Miss Princess Kisaragi, Miss?" said the guard, trembling. "I have your dinner-"

"I don't want it!" howled Yuffie, unable to tear her gaze away from the chocobo leg glazed with- oh man, was that honey? Sweet, mountain honey made from the nectar of wildflowers from Corel? She wanted to cry. "Take it away!"

"Er, Ma'am, the President said that I was to leave it in the room with you even if you said you didn't want it. He said-"

"I don't care!" Yuffie marched up to him; he took a quick step back, pressing himself against the door so that it closed behind him with a click.

"Ma'am, I know you're royalty, but you're not allowed to leave this room. President's orders. Where shall I put the chocobo?"

"Take it awaaaayyy!" yowled Yuffie, reaching out to grab it from him. The guard gave her a funny look, but he didn't get much further than that, because the door behind him swung open and he tripped forward. Grabbing the chocobo leg, Yuffie took her chance and leapt through the doorway, pushing past the figure who had been trying to come in.

She hurtled down the corridor, trying to get her bearings as she ran. She wished she knew something, _anything _about the layout of the Shinra building. There _had _to be lifts, but where? She paused at a flight of stairs- run down now, or try her luck and see if she could find a lift instead? This might be the difference between capture and freedom. In the end, Shinra settled the decision for her; she saw a troop of guards advance around the far corner and without further ado she jumped down the stairs, taking them six at a time and then cursing as her ankles throbbed in protest.

As she ran down stairwell after stairwell, hearing feet clatter above her in pursuit, she counted down the floors. 32, 31, 30, 29, 28- hang on, where was the next staircase? Yuffie skidded to a halt, staring in disbelief. '_Floors 4-27 and 36-59 are elevator-access only,' _read the sign tacked to the wall._ 'Experimental architecture courtesy of R. Tuesti! Have a nice day, and don't forget your keycard!'_

She swore, kicked the wall and pushed on the door to the 28th floor, preparing to make a wild dash across whatever room awaited. There was just one teensy problem: the door was locked tight. Yuffie rattled the handle; the door didn't take the hint. Above her, the soldiers pounded down floor after floor, and now she could actually hear their racing breath. She punched the handle. Nothing doing. Suddenly, there was a shout as one of the guards reached the top of her stairwell.

"She's here!"

Yuffie gave a scream of frustration, kicked the door and then wailed again as pain stabbed into her foot. Then she froze, shocked, as she realised that the pain was due to her heel making its acquaintance with the long metal objects stuffed in her sock.

The lockpicks!

With a triumphant cry, she whipped them out and stuffed the torsion wrench and the half diamond into the slot. In most ways, she wasn't the greatest ninja, but when it came to lockpicking, Yuffie Kisaragi was second to none. In less than a second, the door gaped open and she dashed through, only to squeak as a large hand grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and yanked her right back again.

"Nice try, kid," said the guard. Yuffie saw a truncheon swing forward, and then everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

When Yuffie awoke, she was back in the banana-y room. And there was someone with her.

"Hello," said the someone. "There's water in the cup." He gestured. Yuffie walked over, picked the cup up off the floor, stalked back and poured the contents all over the man's head.

"Traitor," she hissed as Tseng spluttered.

Yuffie went back across the room, sitting down in the corner that was as far from Tseng as possible. This man, no, this _rat,_ had sold them out, forsaken the glory of their nation for Shinra's pomp and gilt, yet did he _feel _guilt? Ha! Less than a fisherman's hook! If it hadn't been for cowards, dishonourable mutts like him, Wutai would still be the most powerful country in the world, the place she knew from the stories of her childhood, the place that the adults talked of in whispering, nostalgic tones before shaking their heads and lamenting, "But that was before the war". The place on the old postcards. The place in her dreams.

"You seem well," said Tseng, wringing the water out of his hair. "I was worried. Kenneth hit you quite hard."

Yuffie said nothing, glowering at him.

"Rufus has set off for Junon," Tseng continued. "So I think we can assume from that that AVALANCHE are on their way to pick you up. Part of my 'recuperation' involves being told nothing of importance. Reno's loving it. If I develop an ulcer on top of Sephiroth's cut, you know why."

Yuffie stayed silent. She wanted to know why he was making stupid small-talk, but she wasn't going to ask _him _anything. If people like him hadn't told Shinra of the guerilla's plans, if they hadn't taught them the secret signals, if they hadn't mapped the mountains, her mum would still be alive.

"Kisaragi, listen." Tseng moved out of his kneeling position and got to his feet, wincing as he did so and gripping his side. "I think we're taking the wrong approach to this catastrophe. I realised at that temple. We all have the same enemy, Sephiroth, yet rather than compile our resources, we're fighting each other. This is wasteful and foolish." He walked toward Yuffie. "Knowing Rufus, he'll never agree to work with AVALANCHE, out of sheer bloody-mindedness, but there's no reason why there can't be a- strictly unofficial, I stress- truce between General Affairs and yourselves. Until all this is tidied up, at least. Do you see?"

Yuffie tensed as Tseng stopped, feet away.

"I see a backstabbing toad," she said. She looked him dead in the eye and recited, "The water hates it and so does the land. It will never find a home. Should curl up and die."

"Very proverbial," said Tseng, amused. "Godo quote, by any chance?"

"Don't call my dad by his first name!" said Yuffie, outraged.

Tseng ignored her. "I always find it entertaining that Godo is the first to whine about my 'treachery', yet he's never lifted a finger to help Wutai. Quite the opposite, in fact. Not that there was ever much to help."

Yuffie leapt to her feet. "Say that again!" She curled her right hand into a fist.

Tseng's lips twitched. "Kisaragi, you weren't even _around _at the time." He shook his head and leaned against the wall. "No, Kisaragi, even before the war, Wutai was little more than a tourist resort."

"Liar! Wutai was a proud, wealthy nation with the blessing of the gods, and the only reason they withdrew their blessing was because of cowards like you!" Yuffie found there were tears in her eyes.

Tseng started to laugh in earnest, a harsh, croaking sound. "I shouldn't laugh..." he murmured at last. "It hurts the wound... but Kisaragi, really? You actually believe in the gods?"

Yuffie glared at him.

"Kisaragi, Godo _invented _half of the newer gods, for a start. He'd find an 'ancient' scroll here, an engraved tablet there- you keep up the spirits of the populace, you lie through the papers, you pay people to testify about miracles- it's not so different from Shinra, minus the use of a powerful priesthood for political ends- we have scientists instead."

"I don't believe you," whispered Yuffie.

"All the while, Godo made a tidy sum selling protective amulets and the like, 'blessed' objects that, of course, had absolutely no beneficial effects. He robbed his own people- in _wartime-_ while pretending to rule. And every time you pray to the gods he constructed, you sully Leviathan and Da Chao."

"You lie for a living," said Yuffie, but they both heard the tremble in her voice.

"Wutai never had a hope against Shinra," said Tseng. "Any fool could see that- any fool with education, at least. But then Godo was very good at suppressing education. He was good at pretending that Wutai's victories were due to strength, cunning and determination, rather than tricky terrain, Shinra's soldiers' inexperience and their susceptibility to local illnesses. Keep the war going, place shares in weapons' manufacturers, make more personal wealth."

Yuffie clapped her hands over her ears, but she could still hear him.

"Godo defected long before I did, Yuffie. We, the guerilla, told him our secrets and he passed them on, and we never suspected a _thing,_ because he was our holy emperor." Tseng shook his head. "The man made _millions._ Until he messed up and your mother died, anyway. A week after that, Wutai surrendered. And now Godo sits in his pagoda, ranting away and plotting to steal materia so he can fight Shinra for real, because he can't accept responsibility for killing his wife. Except this time, nobody else is willing to fight. With the exception of his impressionable daughter who's grown up on a diet of his fantasy and lies. Quite sad, really." Tseng sighed and started toward the door, hand pressed against his abdomen. "Sorry, Kisaragi. I'll see you later."

He left.

...

_(A/N: When I wrote 'very proverbial', I was sure that Zix would guess that I was the author (the Zix is currently proofing an original piece of mine). To explain: as I only have about three jokes, I reuse them continually. Not a problem until the audiences overlap.)_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

When AVALANCHE came to pick up Yuffie, they found her unusually subdued. She seemed fine physically, but she barely spoke on the airship, except to say that she wanted to go home.

As she sat in the cargo bay, fighting the urge to be violently sick, Yuffie tried to distract herself from her queasy stomach by twirling her shuriken in her hands. So light, so cold, so sharp.

She'd make sure it found its mark in her father's neck.

...

"Did she buy it?" asked Rufus, cutting up his steak that evening.

Tseng nodded. "Godo should be dead this time tomorrow."

"And there's definitely no male heir?"

"Definitely. Wutai will go to Miss Kisaragi. And..." Tseng's expression seemed neutral, but Rufus could detect his distaste. "And then I will continue to be a source of _truth,_ and later friendship."

"Just don't take too long to work your way into her bed."

"You really are vulgar."

Rufus shrugged, taking a sip of wine. "It's just business. After you're married, you can kill her if you want."

"I think I'd be deposed if I acted too quickly. It will take a lot to win the trust of the Wutaian people."

"Hmm, I wonder why?" said Rufus.

...

In the dark that night, Tseng allowed himself a small smile.

Step one: become emperor of Wutai

Step two: amass its forces, repealing the ban on materia, and ally with AVALANCHE

Step three: wage war and overthrow Shinra. Gain glory. Subjugate Rufus.

Everything was going to plan.


End file.
